Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
