What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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