foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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