I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
