i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
