I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
did i just pee glitter
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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