when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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