It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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