I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
