Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
