Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
