Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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