Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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