VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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