He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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