His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize