Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
