its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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