are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize