Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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