I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
