it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
