i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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