I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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