like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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