so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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