i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
