I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
someone threw a dead crab at me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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