Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
