I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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