Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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