just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
