I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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