i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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