When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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