That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
