I puked a lego.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
