you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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