Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
