Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
