make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Quick, to the slutcave!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
