I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
