i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
