marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
