Who did Billy Mays play for?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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