you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
