for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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