So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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