Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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