I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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