Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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