oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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