found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
