that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
