I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
