There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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