Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
