hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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