So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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