I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
