I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
