very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
