words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
