Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
