the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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