I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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