they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
