doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
